No Horking in China

We are very jazzed that Katie Lewis, the Nomadic Reporter, has written a guest post for the Mindful Tourist.  Katie is currently living in China and has some HI-larious anecdotes and observations from her time there.  We love how Katie takes the good with the bad and just lives.  Read on:

 

 

 

I arrived in China, bright-eyed and slightly delirious after traveling constantly for the past several years, from East Africa to Colombia. Despite what I thought was my somewhat adaptable nature, there have been a few things that constantly surprise me about China - all of them entertaining. I love this place.

1. Staring

Now, we’re not talking a timid glance here or there. We’re talking an all out full contact sport of people’s eyes boring holes through you. I actually rank the level of staring now - from one to four. One is the standard street stop gawk. Two, is the delayed gawk, perhaps the double take. Three is when children cry while staring at you. That one just makes me feel like a monster. Oh wait. I am.

And clocking in at number four (my personal favorite, albeit rare) is the complete bicycle dismount. This generally occurs by elderly women who stop their bikes, physically dismount and gawk for a minimum of 30 seconds. I get excited when this happens. It’s like winning the staring Olympics.

2. Pushing

Pushing is a way of life here - to get where you’re going, you’ve got to dig in those elbows and just give ‘er. In the beginning, I used to timidly stand back and wait for people to let me in. Except they never did. And really, waiting around waiting for people to let you in all the time is a waste of time. Was that convoluted enough?

Finally I figured - well, if ya can’t beat ‘em, join in. And join in I did. I still have moments of extreme claustrophobia here, but they do get better with time (and sharper elbows). The sense of space issue is certainly one that will crop up. As in, get over the fact that you never, ever have space. You want space? Move to Wyoming.

3. Food

Now, the food here is IN. CRED. IBLE. A. MA. ZING. Am I annoying you yet?

As in, the food will knock your socks right out of this world. The Chinese live to eat and they’ve done it with a skill and grace that North Americans will never catch up to. It’s just not possible. From street stand noodles that cost 70 cents US, to exotic delicacies that cost hundreds, I would say my ratio for good food is about 90 per cent. That means nine out of every 10 food items I try, I freaking freaking love.

Needless to say, the only, I repeat, only disappointing meal I have had in China was at my work cafeteria. And that, my friends, is a worldwide phenomenon. Cafeteria food just sucks around the whole, wide world. That’s why I suppose it costs 50 cents here. Slop.

4. Honesty

Now, as someone who has been pick pocketed, oh, about 387 times (I lie, maybe probably about 9 or so) coming to China is a welcome change. I used to play a game with a reporter friend that we would stick a 1$ US bill in our back pockets and track how long it took to get stolen. Sudan won. Seventeen minutes. We kept track for a long while.

When I came to China, I started the game again. The first day I did it, the bill fell out of my pocket as I was reaching for something on the subway. Amidst hundreds of people a man picked it up, and tapped me on the shoulder and said “You dropped your $1 bill” (actually I don’t know what exactly he said, but this is what I assume he said).

People will barrel down the street to give back the 10 cents you overpaid them. I can wander the streets alone at 3 a.m. happy as a lark. China, as compared to places I’ve lived and traveled before, is an incredibly safe, safe place, considering 1.3 billion people live here.
And last, but not least…

5. Horking

There’s a whole lot of horking going on here. A lot more than at home. The regurgitation of phlegm was something I promised to never write about until somebody horked on me. Then all bets were off, hot damn. The crime occurred at a small restaurant when a man horked all over my shoe after making “Herrrrrkk… blarkkkkk” sounds for a good five minutes first.

I sometimes feel like I’m dancing along the street as I gracefully tip and tap between hork on the road. I lie. I’m like an elephant, lumbering through every piece of fluid ever. Most of it ends up on my shoes.

All of this being said in jest, I adore China. It has everything - the absurd, the interesting, the culinary excellence and you could shop for a lifetime. The history is incredible, the people ever so kind, and there is undoubtedly something every single day that makes me laugh.

Read more from Katie Lewis at her blog, The Nomadic Reporter.

Tags: China, Katie Lewis, Nomadic Reporter

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 13th, 2009 at 5:51 am and is filed under Asia, Cultural Tourism. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.