On Wednesday, Governor Sarah Palin declared the state of Alaska an eco-friendly-free  state, the first U.S. state to have that distinction.  With 65% of Alaska owned and operated by the U.S. federal government as public lands, including national parks, national parks, and wildlife refuges, Alaska had been championed by ecotourism advocates as having the potential to be a model for the country.  But Palin, a little-known politician to most in the “lower 48,” is beloved in Alaska for her maverick streak.

Said Palin at her press conference held at the Denny’s in downtown Anchorage, “This is a turning point for Alaska.  We are creating this policy so that your children and mine, so that Bristol, Trig, Track, Willow, Windex, Petroleum, Pectin, Kodiak, RJ Reynolds, and Burnt Sienna, will all have the chance to see and appreciate skyscrapers, 8-lane highways, and smog.  We cannot deprive future generations.”

In fact, becoming eco-friendly-free, as now mandated, may be difficult for most Alaskans.  They will no longer be allowed to hike in their forests without bringing saws with them in order to cut down the required every 6th tree.  Citizens must refrain from cooking typical Alaskan foods like wild salmon, instead frequenting only chain restaurants as stipulated in the governor’s new comprehensive white paper, Why the Wasilla Weekly is the Only Newspaper You Need to Read and Other Advice From Your Governor.  

In addition to pointing 570 high-powered spotlights at the sky in an attempt to discourage interest in such natural wonders as the Northern Lights and striving for a “Hummer in every garage,” Palin has said that all tourist revenue will go to the construction of suburban shopping malls, specifically noting the need for Alaska to have a Neiman Marcus department store.  

Helping Palin implement her new policy will be Samuel “Joe” Wurzelbacher, an Ohio man touted by Palin as “the perfect man for the job.”

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Tags: Alaska, eco-unfriendly, Joe Wurzelbacher, Neiman Marcus, Sarah Palin

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009 at 6:50 pm and is filed under Ecotourism, Fun and Random, North America. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.